Rainbow Pie

Pain will wake up
One morning it’ll hit you out of the blue
Like a stone leaving the sea and flying in front of you.
It explodes the moment it’s about to penetrate your skull.
And you’ll be left with powder on the mercury-coated earth.
Seeing my life flow into the stinking ocean.
The ringing in my ears is my death knell.
A toxic chemical odor
Campaign posters.
An unheard of cop
Imprisoned friends
Bent spine
Old wrinkles
Grayed teenage head
The anorexic who died suddenly in a foreign land
The exiled political prisoner carried away by the waves.
The poet who went mad in the streets of Paris.
The bicycle girl crushed to death by a truck.
Camus with his head stuck in the window.
The hospitalized old man who came back from the dead
A communist driven mad by the communists.
I smell blood without color.
I’m going to end myself one day.
This freak, unloved.
Unloved freak.
An abandoned freak.
A freak buried in quicksand.
Unstoppable warming.
The long-lived Putin and Xi Jinping
I am tormented by dictators who have never seen me.
When will I love myself?
I’m a freak.
And then, will you be the last flower in heaven?
A flower made of plastic.
A skull made of bullets.
A teenager obsessed with tragedy.
A teenager forever.
The boy who pleads for the people.
Kneeling in Tiananmen Square
The boy who broke Mao’s statue
The teenager who lost his language
I’m a freak with no nutrition.
No one would eat me even if I made soup.
If I hadn’t been born, I wouldn’t have suffered.
If I died, people would stop laughing at me, that would be great.
If only I could go back to my childhood, when everyone loved me.
Vladimir Putin isn’t president forever.
Xi Jinping was just a provincial party secretary.
I don’t know what evil is yet.
Dad wouldn’t make me hate myself.
Mom wouldn’t break into my room.
Teachers don’t call me a shameful asshole
Netizens don’t fantasize about stomping on my corpse
I’m not so far gone as to cancel myself
At that time
Even Liu Xiaobo was still free
The elevator comes to an end It will never move